I had this really awesome blog all ready to be posted. Then I decided that now is not the time to post it.
Part of me realizes that even though these are my thoughts and feelings, sometimes it’s best to just say nothing and keep it all in.
Another part of me realizes that there is no way in the world to hide who all it’s about/ to. I just don’t want to have to deal with all the repercussions.
And yet another part of me realizes that there are better ways to address the situations involved.
Such as an email to one person. A ‘useless attempt at an apology’ text. A phone call for another. Another useless text.
The worst feeling in the world is ending a conversation on a bad note. I’ve had to do it four times in the past 24 hours, twice with the same person. I feel awful.
And I don’t really care what people think about me anymore. But I do care about how I make them feel. It’s weird.
I’ve had a long two weeks, even with break.
People are pushing me this way, pulling me that way, pressuring me here, leaving me clueless there.
I’m too blunt with the people I care the most about, but I’m sugar coated when it’s just a casual sort of thing.
If I haven’t texted you back, I’m sorry. You’ll live. There are more important things going on in my life. If I haven’t called you back, there’s a reason. If you call and I don’t answer, there’s a reason.
Look, kids. It’s not you, it’s me. I need space.
I’m sorry. I’ve got to prioritize.
Don’t take it personally.
