Now What?

All of this started as an outlet for all of the shit going on in my head.

Then people started reading it.

Then I changed my page layout, got a spiffy banner, and made it more user friendly.

Then more people started reading it.

And they subscribed.

And now they bother me about when I’m posting things next.

And people I know in real actual life read this and keep up with it.

Do you know what that means?

That means I can’t talk about how I feel about the people I interact with on a daily basis. That means that no matter how hard I try to not give away the fact that I’m talking about how someone is making me feel, someone somewhere will know exactly who I’m talking about and run off and tell them.

“Hey, Candace wrote something about you on her blog. She said you had herpes and AIDS and all of this stuff.” That is what they will say. And the person being lied to will not even question the lie. They will take it in stride and assume that I really am saying all of these horrible things about them and they will hate me. For no reason.

This is a problem. One, I will not spread stupid rumors about stupid things and waste my stupid time. Two, now I have run out of things to talk about on a deep emotional level, because the afore mentioned things will happen.

Now what? Do I make this a humor blog? Do I just fuck what everyone thinks and post anyways? Will people hate me?

Oh, speaking of hating me: I’m finally getting hate mail and comments and such.

It’s like a rite of passage for any blogger, or so I’ve been told. I get my little pen to put on my blogger jacket. It’s the medallion of accomplishment. It lets me know I’m doing something right.

And these posts and emails and comments all make me giggle. The only thing that really offends me is the obvious lack of grammar and punctuation. I mean, really? It’s hard to take you seriously when you cannot spell and I have to sit around trying to figure out what you meant to say. It takes away from the whole vibe of the insult. Spell check is beautiful thing.

I digress.

I suppose I started out wanting to know that people elsewhere were feeling the same way I do. I wanted that self assured, electronic pat on the back that told me I was perfectly sane and functioning somewhat normally.

And I got that.

But, now what?

I mean, I’ve even resorted to putting pictures in my blogs to make them more interesting. And some people make a ton of money blogging about random shit that makes you laugh all day. If I were funny I would want a blog that will make people laugh.

I kind of want one right now, actually.

So, like a new stand up comedian, I will be looking for funny material to write about all day. I will amaze you with my fantastic wit, charm you with my lovable antics, and offend you with my delightful profanity.

Every good comedian says ‘fuck’, right?