There is this monster that burrows deep in people’s chests. It’s vicious and jealous and all sorts of mean.
It’s the jealousy monster.
NOM NOM NOM, I WILL CONSUME YOUR SOUL!
He likes to burrow deep in your chest and live contentedly until some random occurrence awakes him from his peaceful slumber. You will never know when it will happen, or for what reason. No one can escape his clutches of dire envy.
My jealousy monster’s name is Frank.
Frank and I just recently met about a month or two ago. We actually hate each other quite a bit.
Frank likes to growl at people that I like for stupid reasons, he over reacts to stupid things.
And he doesn’t get along with my boyfriends jealousy monster either. I think his is named Paul. The monster, not my boyfriend.
Hi, I'm Paul.
I decided that I would pretend that everyone’s jealousy monsters would get along and love each other and not be jealous. Frank and I had a long conversation, which involved me talking to my stomach area for about five minutes. Frank and I decided that we would talk to boyfriend and Paul about our problems, because earlier this week I was all irritated at Paul but now Frank is being an asshole, too.
<3
Yay for loving everyone!
But in all seriousness, it’s not cool for me to have a double standard. At the time I was all angry, it wasn’t a double standard. Okay, I wasn’t angry really, just slightly confused and befuddled. The confusion turned into anger because I’m too stupid to process things sometimes.
So, my solution is to kill Frank and lock him away.
Because that’s what responsible adults do.
A little side note: I found this hysterically funny blog that had pictures to go along with the posts. I thought it was a fantastic idea, and what a perfect post to add pictures to, right? Except for now I feel like a cheap rip off. Oh, well.
