Genetics: Why My Best Friends Are Gay

“The difference between homosexual and heterosexual males is the asshole gene. Gay men don’t get it; they get a modified version of the bitch gene, which is manageable.” ~ A wise and hysterical friend of mine

This is very true. Oh, if I could sing this at the top of my lungs from the highest mountain, I would.

Honestly, as cliche’ as it sounds, gay men are the best of both worlds. I love that I can ask him questions that I would never ask anyone else, simply because he can look at things from my perspective while still having a penis. (Like questions about ball sacks. Who on earth will answer a question about ball sacks, if not your gay best friend?)

He’s not overly effeminate, either.  Which means that he won’t try to steal my jeans after he helps me pick them out. Or my bras. Or my shoes.

Or my man.

Thank god.

Because we all have those bitchy friends that will steal your boyfriend, or lure them into the sticky, nasty web of alcohol induced retardation.

And if your gay friend actually manages to lure your boyfriend away from you, is that REALLY such a bad thing? Do you really want a closet gay-man-boyfriend? No, you do not.

There are perks to having a lesbian best friend, as well. Such as:

1) Sharing clothes that you both picked out for each other.

2) Still having those very deep female conversations that only chicks can have.

3) Bitching about men. Oh, man. This is the best.

4) AND NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT HER STEALING YOUR MAN!

Homosexuals are the best, I tell you.

I love them all. In a very friendly way.