I was talking to a good friend of mine earlier tonight about relationships. He’s going through some tough stuff with this girl he is trying to woo.
But basically, the entire time we were discussing her and such, he only spoke of companionship as a material thing. He really just wanted someone to hold and kiss and call his own. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he really thought she was intelligent and pretty and whatever he thought, but he was really more interested in what she offers to him (acceptance, physical satisfaction, ect.) and not what he could offer her.
She is essentially a tool in a culture of marketing for love.
First, we must acknowledge the difference between need and want. A need is something you cannot survive without. You need water, food, shelter, ect. You do not need that new 38234 inch flat screen plasma TV that was on sale. You may want it, but you will not die or be miserable without it.
Problems tend to arise when you start to blur the lines of need and want.
He felt like he needed her to make him happy, that she was going to be the emotional band-aid from the gods. He needed her. Or at least, that’s what he thought. In reality he just really wanted her. He wanted her to fix things so badly that he started to get needs and wants confused, started to feel that if he did not get her he would die.
He is a good guy, very honest, but these things happen to the best of us. After we talked about it, he came to see what he was doing and he is working on straightening things out.
I’m pretty awful about getting needs and wants blended together. Not really with relationships as much, but with stuff.
I love stuff.
I was at work, on break, and I decided to walk across the street to the appliance store and check out some of the kitchenware they had displayed in the window. I’m a sucker for kitchen appliances or new cookware. I love that plastic-y ‘new stuff’ smell, that glisten on stainless steel pots and pans. As I stood outside the window, drooling on my uniform, I told my self that it wouldn’t hurt to go in and look around, as long as I didn’t buy anything. So, almost trembling with excitement, I pushed the door open and took a deep breath in. Plastic.
Okay, so I’m weird. As I strolled around, looking at salad spinners and whisks and various sundries, I found it. It called to me from high up on the shelf, whispered my name. “Candace, you really need to buy me,” the red food processor said to me, “because I’m on clearance. I’m only 39.99. Plus, I’ll match your red rice cooker. Buuuuyyyyyy meeeeeeee.” No, I told the food processor. But suddenly I felt that if I did not have this food processor, I wouldn’t be able to be like those guys on the Food Network, I would never further my cooking skills, never land a decent husband, and be desolate and single for the rest of my life. “I NEED THE FOOD PROCESSOR,” my brain screamed.
I walked out with a new food processor and was 44.17 poorer. The pleasure centers in my brain that light up when I buy stuff were giving Vegas a run for it’s money. Then it occurred to me I did not need the food processor. I would not die without it. That money could have been put towards a new car or groceries or something that was important. My conscience won, and I walked back across the street to return my food processor and collect my ill spent money.
I’m a wasteful person, and I need to fix it.
Also, it’s like 2:30 in the morning and I have to be up at 6. My insomnia is getting worse and it’s really not good. I’ve got rehearsal tomorrow, as well. And like 34802394 things due. Which means I will not go to sleep until about 12 tomorrow night. Not to mention I didn’t sleep last night. And I’ve been forgetting to eat. I ate Friday night and didn’t eat again until last night. It’s Monday night (technically Tuesday morning), so two days then.
I’m a mess, really. And my mother woke me up by vacuuming. Who is supposed to sleep with the vacuum running at 1 in the morning?
Not me obviously.
Song for the night: Insomnia by The Dirty Heads.
My eyelids are glued to the top of my head.
