Today, I decided I’d rather spoon my eyes out and eat them than listen to my Algebra teacher. He’s not a bad guy, he just has the most awful voice.
I really don’t have much to say about today. Today was a listening day, not really a speaking day. Which is cool, you know.
We picked apart an essay in Lit today, and I realized that I’m super critical of other people’s writing because I’m scared that my writing is not as good as theirs. Just another insecurity to add to my list, I suppose.
Barbados, my old truck, got hauled to the junkyard today. You would think I would be just a little bit sad that the truck I’ve been driving for the past year was leaving, but nope. I got my stuff out and didn’t even wave goodbye. I suppose after something has tried to kill you multiple times, it’s hard to feel affection for it. The downside is that I no longer have a vehicle to call my own. Which makes getting to work difficult.
I guess my issue today is that I’m just tired. I don’t really have the energy or desire to get myself worked up and spit out introspective entries. I’m just very chilled out today. I kinda want to go take a nap, but I have plans for tonight and need to get motivated.
A boy told me I have pretty eyes today and I said to him, “They’ll cut you to ribbons sometimes.”
I don’t think he got the lyrical reference and I probably scared the poor boy to death. Which is for the best, I think. I don’t want relationships right now, I just want someone to hug and kiss and hold hands with. I don’t even have to like them really. I just want to be close to another human. I want to smell skin and hear heartbeats and not have to worry about whether he will be around tomorrow, because today is what matters to me.
Now, I say all of this today, and I will probably tell you something different tomorrow. But tonight. Tonight is forgetting and never forgiving.
“But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes that will cut you to ribbons sometimes. And all you can do is wait by the moon and bleed if she says it’s what you oughta do.” ~ Here’s Looking at You, Kid by The Gaslight Anthem
