I read somewhere that writers must write every day. I agree with this, because if you sit around and wait for inspiration you will sit around for days. Or I will, at least.
So, now I’m in the position to come up with something witty and caustic to say every day.
Do you know how exhausting sarcasm is?
Today, I realized that one of my friends is very catty and loves to gossip, which I was fine with until I realized that if this person gossips in front of me, they will gossip behind me. This is not okay.
Today, I realized that all 16 of my posts to FML have been denied. I got beat out by someone who woke up with a tick on their eyelashes and the only thing they could think to do was burn the tick off.
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but if a tick is stuck to your eyelashes, you could pull it off, pop it, and flush it down the toilet. No fire or pain required.
Resident of Minnesota, you deserve to have no eyelashes because you are dumb.
Today, I realized that memory attachment to some songs, movies, and items is terrible but manageable. Pictures pop up on Facebook, catch me off guard, and make me want to vomit.
Today, I found out my neighbor is a meth addict and has been in 3 local arrests papers that are delivered to my place of employment. My brother plays with her kids and is currently over at her house.
Someone asked me for help with Algebra homework, and it was a question I know the answer to. Either they’re desperate for help, or I’m getting smarter.
That’s about all I’ve got at the moment.
