We have a problem.
The problem is that I cannot write when I have just thoughts in my head; they have to be attached to emotions.
Sometimes, I just stop letting myself feel anything for days at a time, like a sort of defense mechanism.
This is when my creativity dries up and the blog sits there, staring at me like a neglected pet.
It’s not like I don’t want to write, really. I promise. It’s just that I can’t form sentences and make them sound good. They all roll around in my mouth and feel awkward. I do not need any more awkward than I’ve already got.
Besides, I don’t have interesting things to say every day. I whine a lot. I don’t understand why people regularly read this shit, honestly. This was started as an outlet for my own personal use, but now people I know follow this thing all the damn time. Which, in all truth, is my fault.
On the same note, I feel like I need the validation of people nodding and saying, “Yes! I understand you perfectly. You are not crazy. You are sane, gritty, and true and I appreciate this.”
I just didn’t think I would feel so naked about it. Like, people know things about me, read this blog, and think they know me.
I’m starting to feel like I can’t write honestly or openly because I’m paranoid people will judge me. I hide my link posts on Facebook so certain people won’t see that I’ve updated my blog, read it, and deem me unfit to live. Maybe I’m just that insecure.
I mean, it’s obviously people that are close to me, because I could give two less shits about what people I’ve never met think of me. I’d actually prefer the people I’ve never met to read this stuff.
Hello, nice to meet you. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.
On to another topic.
I finally figured out how to put media in my posts, which means I can now attach songs to my blogs.
Aren’t you guys lucky?
Also, I want feed back now. I want human interaction. I get to see the stats of how many times you view my blog, what you click on, how many times you click on it, what link you clicked to get here, what search terms you’ve used to find this page, but I do not get to know you. You are just a statistic.
Everyone wants to be known. So, start making introductions.
I want to know what you think and feel and have to say about things on this page, about life, what you ate for breakfast, ect. God, heaven, hell, sex drugs, music, love, boogers, more sex, children, the meaning of life, everything.
I am curious. Call me George.
Actually, no. My uncle is named George. Don’t call me George.
You ready for this? Absolutely ready?
candaceroberson@ymail.com
Fill that inbox with stuff. DO IT!
Also, this song has been on repeat for two days. I thought I’d share it. Just play the video, minimize the screen, and breathe it in.
