Oh, man. I’ve done it this time. I’ve finally got something that is right and good and true. And now I’m sitting here, in the dark, second guessing everything.
I don’t doubt you in your words. How could I? I know you mean what you say and I mean it too.
But there is this creature in the back of my mind. D’you know what it is? Its the demon that surfaces every time you end up fucking me over. Of course, that was then and this is now. But leopards do not change their spots. You can mean it today and not next week.
You are so fickle sometimes, and I am worried. Oh, the worry keeps me up at night.
Let me tell you what I am feeling right now. I feel euphoric. Things are starting to pull together, and even though time is short, I am confident that everything will work out for the best.
I miss you so much it hurts. There is this horrid feeling deep in my stomach, this longing that I’ve never felt before.
I am terrified. Absolutely terrified that you will leave me in a heap of broken heart and splintered dreams. Oh, I know our time is short, but a peaceful, regretful departure is preferred to your sudden decisions that we cannot be together for whatever reason. And you’ll have your reasons. You always do.
You’ve apologized, you’ve said your bit. I heard you. I forgave you. But I’m having a bit of difficulty forgetting all of the scars and burn marks I have lingering on my skin.
I’m a skeptic. I always have been.
Oh, I love you. I have never said those words and meant them more. I’ve loved you for ages. And you’ve loved me too. That’s why it’s so tragic, you see.
The whispers of friends are snaking their way into my ears, and I cannot help but listen.
This is your time to prove everyone wrong and show that my faith in you is not misplaced. I will stand behind you all the way. Just this once.
Just this once.
Oh, boy. I love you. More than the moon and the stars.
This is right. We are right.
Darling, don’t fuck it up.
